Epic Fail
This is how I have felt lately in the area of weight loss and fitness. After a few months of up and down and on and off I am back to square one. That's right, one of your leaders has FAILED and is restarting. I've been walking around for weeks kicking myself and mentally beating myself up and feeling like a big fat loser.
Yesterday I had a breakthrough of sorts. I realized that this STUPID pattern is what has kept me from life change for YEARS. This pattern of jumping in with both feet, letting life get in the way, and then feeling like a failure and berating myself. Where does that lead? My life says - no where. The pattern has to stop somewhere.
And then today I was writing a blog post on my personal blog about grace and I realized that in the area of weight loss I have been giving myself NO GRACE at all. There are reasons that I have not been able to lose weight, valid medical reasons and yet I have still put myself down constantly. A total weight-loss Pharisee.
I told a friend yesterday that I was back to square one and she said "Are you declaring war?" My reply?
"Why yes, yes I am."
I am declaring war on this pattern of mine. War on all of our tendencies to start big and then taper off to nothing. War on those dumb Easter peanut butter eggs that John brought home. War on my own thought patterns. AND I'm refusing to call myself a failure again. I am not failing.
- I am Maximus declaring his intent to have his vengeance, in this life or the next.
- I am Jerry McGuire making hundreds of copies of his Mission statement while the football dude yells "Show me the money!"
- I am William Wallace screaming "FREEDOM" as they rip me limb from limb
- I am Danny on top of the hill yelling "Wolverines!"
- If the PHAT Year had an office I would be Martin Luther nailing this blog post to the door.
Um, I guess you probably get it.
I am declaring yesterday restart day for myself. I will not wait for a Monday. I will not wait for April 1st. Heck, I won't even wait for dinner. I WILL NOT GO ANOTHER SUMMER HATING TO PUT ON A DANG SWIMSUIT. I just won't.
Now, I know lots of you out there are exactly where i am. I know this because most of you have stopped sending me your weights, stopped talking on Facebook, slowly faded out of the picture and I want you to know that I HAVE NOTICED. I am watching you, like a stalker. Well, maybe not like a stalker....
So, let's not be a statistic. Let's not be "the norm". Let's do this thing, and do it together.
Who's with me? WHO'S WITH ME??????
